Program of development human nature in character

Hello dear friends educators,

i found this article, 

sharing with you all
(letters in italic is my words)

as i did work of self character transformation

for actors
by the way of Tribuana Theater of Life.

let's ponder on natural program of human nature

according to this: 

THE BIRTH OF TRUST

0-2 years

The earliest emotional needs we have are to attach, to bond, to feel secure. If these needs are met, a baby develops a sense of trust, which is the foundation of all emotional growth. This enables a child to grow psychologically and to face new experiences. If this sense of trust is not established, because of a mother's absence through illness for example, a baby will develop an emotional 'fight' or 'flight' response and either become withdrawn and quiet or cry a lot, becoming very needy and clingy.

ADULT RESPONSES IN RELATIONSHIPS

This pattern of behavior, once established, continues through life unconsciously. Fear of abandonment and rejection, though common to all human beings, will feel so intense to people affected in this way that it can seriously limit their lives.

They will react to intimacy, or the prospect of intimacy, with either a flight or fight response. (Both emotional patterns may be present, but one will dominate. Partners often manifest opposite reactions.)

Fight response: to be needy, jealous, possessive, manipulative and controlling. The fear of being abandoned will feel life threatening.

Healing stretch: this is the behavior that can be consciously adopted once the unconscious fear and pattern is acknowledged. If you recognize the fight response in yourself, let go- don't dwell on the possible outcome of actions or try to control events. Develop interests independent of your partner. Learn to trust by practicing trusting: decide to trust a person or a situation, letting go of the out-come - which you can deal with if and when it happens. Feel your fear and know that it was appropriate when you were a baby -when your fear that you would die if you were abandoned was justified - but realize that while abandonment might still hurt you as an adult, you will survive.

Flight response: to be passively aggressive, jealous and lacking in trust. Those in flight believe that contact and openness can lead to rejection and abandonment. They find it difficult to express their needs and feelings and often deny having them. Too much closeness can feel suffocating, causing those affected to become emotionally distant.

Healing stretch: initiate closeness. Talk about fears and feelings. Take risks.

To launch oneself in risk we need: courage or understanding, comprehension, to have "them" in hand at ease, so the way to knowing is easier, then courage even not needed to plunge oneself in action (if you are human of understanding, way of knowledge). Trust leads to believe, believes has been used by religion, a path to surrender to a way of being, to do with guidance of a dogma.
Bhagavad Gita to read for deeper searcher, one of human ancient way in Mahabharata era....5000 years ago, still humanly true!!! In Bhagavad Gita there are 2 way being explained: by knowledge, and by being one in action.
Bhagavad Gita in video to zips its mp3 ? do klick here for open mind searcher, to embrace human mystery.

A SENSE OF SELF

2-3 years

It is during this period, sometimes described (as the "terrible twos"), that a child needs to separate emotionally from its primary carer in order to develop a sense of self. The child needs to assert itself to gain confidence and grow emotionally. "Me do it" is a common phrase among two-year-olds. However, they do get easily frustrated as they do not have the skills or ability to do very much for themselves. They need to have patient parents or carers (often here work of baby-sitter, young girl & boys doing theater teaching in kindergarden/elementary school) who are always nearby so that they can run to them and emotionally re-attach whenever they are feeling insecure or frightened. If parents are overly controlling or not available the child will develop a deep sense of shame and doubt about itself and consequently an emotional fight or flight response.

ADULT RESPONSES IN RELATIONSHIPS

Shame, inadequacy and self‑doubt will be carried into intimate relationships.

Fight response: affected adults desperately need to have a partner in order to feel a sense of self. They are often angry and complaining, particularly towards their partner, accusing them of being emotionally distant. They are very insecure and have deep fears of abandonment and rejection.

Healing stretch: if you recognize this pattern in yourself, it is important to believe in yourself as a separate person. Recognize your unique qualities and pay attention to your other relationships. Make an effort to see your partner's positive and negative points. Allow partner time alone. Flow attention in tenderness. Aware of breathing-manner and movement sequences.

Flight response: they often have deep feelings of shame and self-doubt and won't get close for fear of being 'seen' and 'found out'. They have fears of being controlled, smothered and losing themselves in their partner. They often have strong feelings of wanting to escape. This often result in their avoiding relationships altogether.

Healing stretch: reassure yourself that you can be in a relationship and still be yourself. You can do this by repeating an affirmation such as "I can be close and still be me" like a mantra (mantra can be considered as recitation of you sacred sounds, words repetitively). Risk being open about your feelings. If you are in a relationship, develop outside interests with your partner. Go out exploring together. Integrate positive and negative aspects of partner. Share feelings.

To share feeling and emotions, we need well guarded by thought in wisdom and body in action. This is a Tribuana way to deal in life by considering 3 basic ways, 3 basic elements of self. In Tribuana we speak about three compartment, 3 houses, 3 worlds which take form in triangle, round/circle, square/rectangle. For further reading on TRIBUANA, klick here.

INITIATIVE AND IDENTITY

3-5 years

Children now develop a sense of initiative and begin to discover who they are. Initiative is on attitude towards the world, one based on confidence in their abilities to explore and take risks. This is the age at which children discover their identities through imaginative play and role play. They need to have all aspects of their personality validated by their primary carers (hello children keepers and teachers of elementary schools). Many parents feel threatened at this stage as their child's identifications may not fit their social or cultural biases. This is an important time in the socialization of a child but if parents forcefully or angrily reject an aspect of the child's personality the child will feel con­fused, not good enough and guilty. They will respond either by becoming willful and determined, or by withdrawing and iso­lating/separating themselves; 

This moment, when it last long to be alone without good adapted accompaniment, bad habit, leads to bad character in evolution , secretly, never let them alone, for not saying hello to disaster in the future !! to avoid !! how, ?? Education, adapted teaching, continuous accompaniment 

ADULT RESPONSES IN RELATIONSHIPS

As adults these children will experience a feeling of guilt and inadequacy that leads either to a desire to control others or to "people pleasing". Politeness is a mask can hide a reality.

Fight response: affected adults rigidly impose their will and exaggerate emotions. They are often attention-seeking, craving recognition and validation. They can be quite ambivalent and alternate between compliance with and defiance of other people.

Healing stretch: if this is your pattern, consciously let go of control. As controlling thoughts come into your mind, make a deliberate choice to let go and relax. Respect your partner's right to privacy. Do anger releasing exercises. Focus on your qualities and strengths. Widen your circle of friends.Working in group of friends that you feel at ease.

Flight response: people reacting in this way have a fear of being invisible and not valued. They believe that they cannot be accepted as they are and try hard to please others. They have difficulty being assertive and are very self-effacing. They tend to be passively aggressive, manipulative and often complain that their partner is insensitive and controlling.

Healing stretch: learn to take more risks. Learn to be assertive. Recognize that what you give out comes back. So, if you behave like a doormat, expect to be treated like a doormat. Stop putting yourself down. Do anger releasing exercises.
Here exercise , klick here, to do and to ponder its text in mind, and sound/voice liberation.

DISCOVERY OF POWER

5-10 years

At this stage children need to discover their personal power in the outside world, develop problem-solving skills, engage in real tasks and become competent in the management of themselves. They need acceptance and praise for their efforts and achievements - though not constant, undeserved praise which can lead later to unrealistic expectations of others. Children can be very cruel and competitive, and tease and humiliate each other; quiet reassurance can help a child keep a sense of self through this. If the parents themselves also compete with their children, putting them down, the child will feel a deep sense of failure and respond by becoming compulsively competitive, always striving to win; or, alternatively, withdraw from competition feeling resentful. A victim can be manipulative and sometime sabotaging.
To practice what you learnt in the pass, to earn in life now, to be sure to enjoy in the future.

ADULT RESPONSES IN RELATIONSHIPS

These children are left with a deep fear of failure and of incompetence. As adults, they tend to be perfectionist.

Fight response: they are very competitive and argumentative, always having to have the last word. Overburdened by a sense of failure, they become perfectionists. They are as critical of their partners as of themselves, believing they will be loved only if they are the best. They never feel good enough or successful, regardless of their accomplishments.

Healing stretch: if this is you, let go of control. Focus on your partner's and other people's strengths. Recognize and praise, achievement and effort in yourself, your partner and your work colleagues.
The first steps, is half the way done, must be well considered as basic foundation of your way.

Flight response: such people have a fear o being successful and getting lots of attention. They feel inadequate and don't like taking risks. However, this leads to frustration. They can become complaining and manipulative, and sometimes will sabotage

Healing stretch: speak up for yourself at home and at work. Learn to say no to what you consider not good for you. Rising self confidence by good guidance. Good sentence of wisdom in its proper time/moment of life; To read some of them, klick here.  Praise effort and achievement in others when appropriate, not all the time. Recognize your talents and abilities and develop them. Self Confidence, by practicing martial art as Ai Ki Do, Tui chu Silat . and other Tui chu Silat Video