Hello dear friends educators,
i found this article,
sharing with you all
(letters in italic is my words)
(letters in italic is my words)
as i did work of self character transformation
for actors
by the way of Tribuana Theater of Life.
by the way of Tribuana Theater of Life.
let's ponder on natural program of human nature
according to this:
THE BIRTH OF TRUST
0-2 years
The
earliest emotional needs we have are to attach, to bond, to feel secure. If
these needs are met, a baby develops a sense of trust, which is the foundation
of all emotional growth. This enables a child to grow psychologically and to
face new experiences. If this sense of trust is not established, because of a
mother's absence through illness for example, a baby will develop an emotional
'fight' or 'flight' response and either become withdrawn and quiet or cry a
lot, becoming very needy and clingy.
ADULT
RESPONSES IN RELATIONSHIPS
This
pattern of behavior, once established, continues through life unconsciously.
Fear of abandonment and rejection, though common to all human beings, will feel
so intense to people affected in this way that it can seriously limit their
lives.
They will react to intimacy, or the prospect of intimacy, with either a
flight or fight response. (Both emotional patterns may be present, but one will
dominate. Partners often manifest opposite reactions.)
Fight
response: to be needy, jealous, possessive, manipulative and
controlling. The fear of being abandoned will feel life threatening.
Healing
stretch: this is the behavior that can be consciously
adopted once the unconscious fear and pattern is acknowledged. If you recognize
the fight response in yourself, let go- don't dwell on the possible outcome of
actions or try to control events. Develop interests independent of your
partner. Learn to trust by practicing trusting: decide to trust a person or a situation,
letting go of the out-come - which you can deal with if and when it happens.
Feel your fear and know that it was appropriate when you were a baby -when your
fear that you would die if you were abandoned was justified - but realize that
while abandonment might still hurt you as an adult, you will survive.
Flight
response: to be passively aggressive, jealous and lacking in
trust. Those in flight believe that contact and openness can lead to rejection
and abandonment. They find it difficult to express their needs and feelings and
often deny having them. Too much closeness can feel suffocating, causing those
affected to become emotionally distant.
Healing
stretch: initiate closeness. Talk about fears and feelings.
Take risks.
To launch oneself in risk we need: courage or understanding, comprehension, to have "them" in hand at ease, so the way to knowing is easier, then courage even not needed to plunge oneself in action (if you are human of understanding, way of knowledge). Trust leads to believe, believes has been used by religion, a path to surrender to a way of being, to do with guidance of a dogma.
Bhagavad Gita to read for deeper searcher, one of human ancient way in Mahabharata era....5000 years ago, still humanly true!!! In Bhagavad Gita there are 2 way being explained: by knowledge, and by being one in action.
Bhagavad Gita in video to zips its mp3 ? do klick here for open mind searcher, to embrace human mystery.
To launch oneself in risk we need: courage or understanding, comprehension, to have "them" in hand at ease, so the way to knowing is easier, then courage even not needed to plunge oneself in action (if you are human of understanding, way of knowledge). Trust leads to believe, believes has been used by religion, a path to surrender to a way of being, to do with guidance of a dogma.
Bhagavad Gita to read for deeper searcher, one of human ancient way in Mahabharata era....5000 years ago, still humanly true!!! In Bhagavad Gita there are 2 way being explained: by knowledge, and by being one in action.
Bhagavad Gita in video to zips its mp3 ? do klick here for open mind searcher, to embrace human mystery.
A
SENSE OF SELF
2-3 years
It
is during this period, sometimes described (as the "terrible twos"),
that a child needs to separate emotionally from its primary carer in order to
develop a sense of self. The child needs to assert itself to gain confidence
and grow emotionally. "Me do it" is a common phrase among
two-year-olds. However, they do get easily frustrated as they do not have the
skills or ability to do very much for themselves. They need to have patient
parents or carers (often here work of baby-sitter, young girl & boys doing theater teaching in kindergarden/elementary school) who are always nearby so that they can run to them and
emotionally re-attach whenever they are feeling insecure or frightened. If
parents are overly controlling or not available the child will develop a deep
sense of shame and doubt about itself and consequently an emotional fight or
flight response.
ADULT
RESPONSES IN RELATIONSHIPS
Shame, inadequacy and self‑doubt will be carried into
intimate relationships.
Fight
response: affected adults desperately need to have a partner
in order to feel a sense of self. They are often angry and complaining,
particularly towards their partner, accusing them of being emotionally distant.
They are very insecure and have deep fears of abandonment and rejection.
Healing
stretch: if you recognize this pattern in yourself, it is
important to believe in yourself as a separate person. Recognize your unique
qualities and pay attention to your other relationships. Make an effort to see
your partner's positive and negative points. Allow partner time alone. Flow attention in tenderness. Aware of breathing-manner and movement sequences.
Flight
response: they often have deep feelings of shame and
self-doubt and won't get close for fear of being 'seen' and 'found out'. They
have fears of being controlled, smothered and losing themselves in their
partner. They often have strong feelings of wanting to escape. This often
result in their avoiding
relationships altogether.
Healing stretch: reassure
yourself that you can be in a relationship and still be yourself. You can do
this by repeating an affirmation such as "I can be close and still be
me" like a mantra (mantra can be considered as recitation of you sacred sounds, words repetitively). Risk being open about your feelings. If you are in a
relationship, develop outside interests with your partner. Go out exploring
together. Integrate positive and negative aspects of partner. Share feelings.
To share feeling and emotions, we need well guarded by thought in wisdom and body in action. This is a Tribuana way to deal in life by considering 3 basic ways, 3 basic elements of self. In Tribuana we speak about three compartment, 3 houses, 3 worlds which take form in triangle, round/circle, square/rectangle. For further reading on TRIBUANA, klick here.
To share feeling and emotions, we need well guarded by thought in wisdom and body in action. This is a Tribuana way to deal in life by considering 3 basic ways, 3 basic elements of self. In Tribuana we speak about three compartment, 3 houses, 3 worlds which take form in triangle, round/circle, square/rectangle. For further reading on TRIBUANA, klick here.
INITIATIVE AND IDENTITY
3-5 years
Children
now develop a sense of initiative and begin to discover who they are.
Initiative is on attitude towards the world, one based on confidence in their
abilities to explore and take risks. This is the age at which children discover
their identities through imaginative play and role play. They need to have all
aspects of their personality validated by their primary carers (hello children keepers and teachers of elementary schools). Many parents feel threatened at this stage as their child's identifications may not fit
their social or cultural biases. This is an important time in the socialization
of a child but if parents forcefully or angrily reject an aspect of the child's
personality the child will feel confused,
not good enough and guilty. They will respond either by becoming willful and
determined, or by withdrawing and isolating/separating themselves;
This moment, when it last long to be alone without good adapted accompaniment, bad habit, leads to bad character in evolution , secretly, never let them alone, for not saying hello to disaster in the future !! to avoid !! how, ?? Education, adapted teaching, continuous accompaniment
This moment, when it last long to be alone without good adapted accompaniment, bad habit, leads to bad character in evolution , secretly, never let them alone, for not saying hello to disaster in the future !! to avoid !! how, ?? Education, adapted teaching, continuous accompaniment
ADULT
RESPONSES IN RELATIONSHIPS
As
adults these children will experience a feeling of guilt and inadequacy that
leads either to a desire to control others or to "people pleasing". Politeness is a mask can hide a reality.
Fight
response: affected adults rigidly impose their will and
exaggerate emotions. They are often attention-seeking, craving recognition and
validation. They can be quite ambivalent and alternate between compliance with
and defiance of other people.
Healing stretch:
if this is your pattern, consciously let go of control. As controlling thoughts
come into your mind, make a deliberate choice to let go and relax. Respect your
partner's right to privacy. Do anger releasing exercises. Focus on your
qualities and strengths. Widen your circle of friends.Working in group of friends that you feel at ease.
Flight response: people
reacting in this way have a fear of being invisible and not valued. They
believe that they cannot be accepted as they are and try hard to please others.
They have difficulty being assertive and are very self-effacing. They tend to
be passively aggressive, manipulative and often complain that their partner is
insensitive and controlling.
Healing stretch:
learn to take more risks. Learn to be assertive. Recognize that what you give
out comes back. So, if you behave like a doormat, expect to be treated like a
doormat. Stop putting yourself down. Do anger releasing exercises.
Here exercise , klick here, to do and to ponder its text in mind, and sound/voice liberation.
Here exercise , klick here, to do and to ponder its text in mind, and sound/voice liberation.
DISCOVERY OF
POWER
5-10 years
At
this stage children need to discover their personal power in the outside world,
develop problem-solving skills, engage in real tasks and become competent in
the management of themselves. They need acceptance and praise for their efforts
and achievements - though not constant, undeserved praise which can lead later
to unrealistic expectations of others. Children can be very cruel and
competitive, and tease and humiliate each other; quiet reassurance can help a
child keep a sense of self through this. If the parents themselves also compete
with their children, putting them down, the child will feel a deep sense of
failure and respond by becoming compulsively competitive, always striving to
win; or, alternatively, withdraw from competition feeling resentful. A victim
can be manipulative and sometime sabotaging.
To practice what you learnt in the pass, to earn in life now, to be sure to enjoy in the future.
To practice what you learnt in the pass, to earn in life now, to be sure to enjoy in the future.
ADULT
RESPONSES IN RELATIONSHIPS
These children are left with a deep fear of failure and of
incompetence. As adults, they tend to be perfectionist.
Fight response:
they are very competitive and argumentative, always having to have the last
word. Overburdened by a sense of failure, they become perfectionists. They are
as critical of their partners as of themselves, believing they will be loved
only if they are the best. They never feel good enough or successful,
regardless of their accomplishments.
Healing
stretch: if this is you, let go of control. Focus on your
partner's and other people's strengths. Recognize and praise, achievement and
effort in yourself, your partner and your work colleagues.
The first steps, is half the way done, must be well considered as basic foundation of your way.
The first steps, is half the way done, must be well considered as basic foundation of your way.
Flight
response: such people have a fear o being successful and
getting lots of attention. They feel inadequate and don't like taking risks.
However, this leads to frustration. They can become complaining and
manipulative, and sometimes will sabotage
Healing
stretch: speak up for yourself at home and at work. Learn to say
no to what you consider not good for you. Rising self confidence by good guidance. Good sentence of wisdom in its proper time/moment of life; To read some of them, klick here. Praise effort and achievement in others when appropriate, not all the time.
Recognize your talents and abilities and develop them. Self Confidence, by practicing martial art as Ai Ki Do, Tui chu Silat . and other Tui chu Silat Video
